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From the Humiliation of Need to Your Need Is My Allurement

This is an almost unedited and unplugged version of Dr. Gafni’s conversation from the previous weeks of One Mountain, Many Paths broadcast. Thus, the style of the piece is the spoken word and not a formal essay. . Dr. Marc Gafni explains the meaning of "Your Need is My Allurement" as the Six Core Basic [Erotic] Needs beyond Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Last week, we talked about this fundamental experience that we so many of us have, the humiliation we feel in trying to get our basic needs met [read this blogpost and for an update of last week's teaching].

For example, if I’m worried that I don’t have enough money to pay my bills, I am humiliated because it feels like a violation to my dignity that I have to struggle simply to survive.

Human beings have struggled to survive throughout history, which is tragic. It’s one of the reasons I’m in favor of universal basic income. But it has got to be done in a way which doesn’t destroy the motivational architecture of reality. So, people have to feel called and even obligated/responsible - in the best sense of those beautiful words - to give back. There’s got to be a clear set of contributions and it’s got to be evaluated and it’s got to have value, but no one should struggle to survive and to have their basic needs met.

Six Core Basic [Erotic] Needs

What are our basic needs? Maslow had his famous hierarchy of needs. But as we share in an upcoming monograph, Maslow's needs are exclusively focused on the Separate Self. We have articulated a new set of needs, what we call the "Eros needs." The Eros Needs transcend and include Maslow’s Separate Self needs and addresses Unique Self as well as Evolutionary Unique Self.

There’s the basic need for nourishment, which is part of my basic Separate Self needs. There are different levels of being nourished and they’re all handled in some sense in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, but then beyond Maslow there’s a second hierarchy of needs, which are the "Eros Needs." Some of these seem to overlap with Maslow. For example, the need for belonging and self-esteem. But Maslow is talking about a Separate Self need. We are talking about the needs of Unique Self and Evolutionary Unique Self. The irreducibly unique face of True Self consciousness and desire. Reality having a YOU experience. The unique pulsing of the evolutionary impulse awake, alive, and yearning in you.

  1. I have a need to be recognized.

  2. I have a need to be chosen.

  3. I have a need to be intended.

  4. I have a need to be not just loved but LoveAdored.

  5. I have a need to be desired.

  6. I have a need to be needed.

"Authentic needs = Rights" is a core principle of the human Kosmos. All of these needs are basic rights of the human being. Every desire is a need. And every one of the core needs operates in two directions. We need to desire and we need to be to be desired. We need to touch and be touched emotionally, spiritually, existentially, psychologically, creatively, physically.

These are erotic needs. These are erotic rights.

[This blogpost is almost all direct quotes from Dr. Marc Gafni collected from the raw transcript of the featured clip below, which is created from the free weekly broadcast of One Mountain, Many Paths, happening live every Sunday at 10 am PT]

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Receive a deeper transmission of the Six Core Basic [Erotic] Needs in this featured clip below.


From the Humiliation of Need to Your Need Is My Allurement


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